etrayamods: (Default)
∎ ETRAYA MODS ∎ ([personal profile] etrayamods) wrote in [community profile] etrayalogs2025-02-14 10:41 am

FEBRUARY MINGLE

WHO: Everyone!
WHEN: February 14th - March
WHERE: Etraya
WHAT: The arrival of newcomers, a mini mission, and some new city features!
NOTES\WARNINGS:



⏵ arrival ⏴

Welcome to Etraya!

Arrival goes as expected - characters awaken on hospital beds and are offered an explanation of their situation: that they have arrived in the city of Etraya, and they are their world's only hope. They are welcome to wander the hospital if they would like to - the upper floors are mostly empty, full of pristine hallways and numerous rooms filled with supplies, cots, and things one would expect from a relatively average 21st-century hospital.

In the hospital's lobby are several party tables set out with miscellaneous baked goods: croissants, cookies, breads, cake slices, as well as tea and coffee to accompany them - or hot chocolate, for those who are opposed to the other offerings.

Outside the hospital, the last remnants of snow are melting in the sunlight as the weather begins to warm up. It's still chilly enough one might want to put on a coat, but not so cold a jacket is necessary for wandering around without freezing off one's fingers.

We hope you enjoy your stay.


⏵ heroes return ⏴


As the Quantum Rail train glides to a halt, returning passengers step out onto familiar ground - the train station, right where they had initially begun their mission. When exiting the station, their earpieces vibrate, indicating the automatic download of a detailed map which highlights key locations, transit paths, and notable landmarks. As Aurora promised, she had been working on a few renovations around Etraya! A sleek trolley system now winds through Etraya, following clearly marked pathways through the city bubble to make travel across the city smoother. However, the trolley only moves one way, eternally following the loop Aurora has set it on. And because of this, it takes six hours to complete it's loop all the way around. Don't miss your stop!

Pets and animals have been returned to their usual preferred areas, some awaiting the arrival of their owners, and others keeping to themselves in the forested areas throughout Etraya.

Beyond the small upgrades, things seem relatively unchanged - until one familiar sign catches the eye. One marked by four vertical lines, methodically crossed out one by one: the final slash has now been drawn through. The tally is complete. What it indicates has yet to be made clear, but it has to mean something, right? No one would go through the effort of making an ominous-sounding sign without following through.


⏵ love in the air ⏴


This Valentines Day, Aurora and the companion bots have opted to try something a little different: they have scattered mystery valentines across the city. Hidden within mailboxes, tucked into cafe menus, slipped under doors, on the outside of high windows for those wall-crawlers to spot. There are countless of these little slips of papers, strewn throughout the city. And within each valentine, is a challenge or gesture to complete. Please feel free to make these up yourselves as long as they fit in with the theme!

Some examples include:

  • Deliver a flower to a stranger.
  • Write a heartfelt poem for someone.
  • Share a box of chocolates!
  • Confess your feelings for another.
  • Play matchmaker for two people - this can be platonic, or romantic!
  • Gift a friend with a stuffed animal.
  • Give five different people a genuine compliment.

While not mandatory, completing five tasks will earn an individual an additional ten points to use towards anything they would like!

Each little Valentine is signed "Your Secret Admirer. ♡", and some of them may even be addressed to specific individuals. Don't be surprised, Eddie, if you see one or two that are specifically addressed to you lurking around your collection of chicken friends!

And while most of these are harmless, some of the valentines cards come with effects for those who come into contact with the paper. Perhaps they thought it was a piece of garbage, or were just kicking it out of the way rather than intending on taking part. It doesn't matter! They get to join in on the fun, too.

Heart Eyes - your pupils literally turn into hearts for a few hours, making it hard to focus on anything other than things (or people) you find attractive.
Love-Struck Stammer - You can only speak in poetic compliments or romantic declarations, regardless of whom you're speaking to.
Chocolate Bliss - Everything feels good. Simple. Easy. As if there's nothing in the world to concern yourself with. You feel happy, without any concerns or worry.
Rose-Tinted Vision - everything looks soft and romantic, as if you're in a romance novel. You know the ones.
Magnetic Attraction - regardless of what you had been doing, you suddenly find yourself unable to leave the side of the person closest to you. Had you been eating chocolates while walking down the street? Well, have fun getting stuck to the guy who'd been out for a jog!
Serenade Syndrome - you find it impossible to resist the urge to sing your words, turning all conversations into love ballads.
Heartstrings - A thread appears, connecting you to someone close by who you share many similarities too. Perhaps you had never met this person before, but the threads tied around your pinky fingers that refuse to let go until you allow yourself to open up to them clearly means you should be a little more familiar with them.

Love is in the air—or maybe just a bit of well-intended chaos! 💕

⏵ NOTES ⏴


Welcome back from the mission, and welcome to Etraya for our newcomers! We've tried to keep this log simple for an easy introduction, as well as some downtime for our mission-goers who worked hard to solve the Quantum Rail mystery.

There is something else going on, but. . . well, no one seems to know what! The computer that had been on the lower floor of the hospital is now missing, and Aurora may seem a little flustered as she flits around Etraya, in search of something.

For all questions relating to this log, please refer to the mod queries comment. All other questions can be directed to the FAQ.

FULL NAVIGATION

cactusy: (I'm going to go talk to some food)

[personal profile] cactusy 2025-03-19 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel like I'm a game show contestant.

[Shaw grumbles - not at all sure that that's not intentional, and unintentionally herself presaging the upcoming mission.]

You ever wonder if we're not actually supposed to spend them? Maybe when this is all over, it'll be a 'whoever has the most points wins' scenario.
constants: (wanna lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins)

perfect, thank you!

[personal profile] constants 2025-03-20 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ The Archive checks her device, and reads the message. ]

Very well, I shall message you an hour before I arrive. Thank you for your offer.
hammerbearer: (Disbelief-Gaia)

[personal profile] hammerbearer 2025-03-20 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, I guess that's true. And... it had some good reasons." It gave a healthy separation of past and future selves. Even if it was partially an illusion to make it all easier to understand. To... reason.

She thought about Ryne. A lot. And other people; every day, so she knows she remembers them.

Gaia's attitude about his eyes wasn't so hard to understand, really. The eyes of the Mystel on the first possessed slit pupils and in her world's view, people had different eye traits. She might never have asked Sephiroth why he doesn't like to keep eye contact directly, but it was likely she assumed it was some other reason unless told otherwise. And if that had happened? Well, she would have explained it wasn't unusual on her world.

But she never dismissed that continued discomfort, either. Never tried to force him to look at her, insist that he had to.

Honestly? Gaia looks a little relieved in that moment as Sephiroth asserts that people don't disappear from this place quickly; or maybe at all. This just comes with another huff.

"I should hope not. If one's trying to save a dying universe and uses the power it takes to cast such magicks to summon someone from another world body and all and bind them here, I'd be much more alarmed if people simply vanished within days."

Whether that meant they were being taken for some nefarious purpose or sent back as 'useless'. That's still a lot of power to waste.

Gaia offers a faint smile. The hand clasped is gently squeezed to remind him she's there.

"Well, let's just take it one day at a time." This city and world, their predicament.

And the strength it takes to be friends.
100more: (Default)

[personal profile] 100more 2025-03-20 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Once Hob takes his seat, he takes up the piece of bread and instantly smiles. He does love a nice slice of warm bread.

"Hmm. I don't know. Have you heard of Pride and Prejudice? Or Casablanca? I really like both of those." Loki said he hasn't watched movies, but Hob doesn't want to assume he's never heard of either of those.
odinpusrex: (302)

[personal profile] odinpusrex 2025-03-20 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
"That you should understand it as I do speaks much of our world's similarities." He offers neutrally, though it is not without interest in this fact. Many worlds share in some details, general similarities and some more specific, but aether being recognized as she has done so is interesting.

Her question, and his attention drawn to the watchful behemoth pulls a quiet sound of muted amusement from him. Almost a chuckle, but not quite...

"You need not worry. The behemoth will stay at its post, for you are my guest." He says this as if it is entirely reasonable for someone to have a behemoth as a guard, let another have one trained as he has. Something as mundane to him as having a young horse trotting besides them as they make their way across the bridge.

"I would know more of your world, of the possible similarities it may share with my own. Know you aught of Eikons?"
tocastashadow: (selûnite 019)

[personal profile] tocastashadow 2025-03-20 07:29 am (UTC)(link)
I don't even know what plastic wrap is, let alone have any of it.

[This world is teeming with things she doesn't understand, and it's always frustrating to encounter yet one more thing. At least she's discovering this one in a harmless context.]
tinflower: (pic#17595339)

[personal profile] tinflower 2025-03-20 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Two of them, [ Gorgug answers. He's a good enough driver that he doesn't know if there's anything telling about the older man's concentration. He's got to concentrate! ] There was someone else, but I guess they're-- back in town?

[ If they are. He's not sure, he's never sure how to sound or to think about that. Not sad, at least, but just unsure.

...but he does glance (just glance!) as he asks the other: ]


You got anyone here?
heavensnight: (You say you know)

[personal profile] heavensnight 2025-03-20 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[there are no thoughts of wanting Vander out of her place, definitely not out of her bed. it seems like he's making no moves to leave either. and if anything, after her telling him what happened and him telling her what he had gone through himself; it just made her feel more affectionate. in her mind, Maria had the idea of Vander just needing someone to help him. Maria could not physically do much for him, other than give him company and so she would do that. comfort him and try to be someone he could seek solace in. he'd certainly become that for her.]

Hardly seems fair. Mostly just pointless? All...this. [her voice dips into a sadder tone and her cheek nuzzles the skin where she lay on him. she meant the mission, all the people who had been hurt, and the scars that had left behind.] What am I saying? It's always pointless. [there's a huff of laughter, devoid of any humor, and then a sigh.] Nobody deserves to suffer. [and that she felt with her whole heart.]

Including someone like Vincent. Even if he did call me ugly. [she jokes to try to bring back the levity.] You'll run into him because he's hard to avoid honestly. Hard to charm, too. If you manage it then I'll be impressed. [Vander is very charming but Vincent is not one to be charmed. by anybody really.]

I know us spending the night together and sleeping the day away has been giving off some mixed signals. [they had slept together but she still felt the need to keep up the game of cat and mouse. will they, won't they...even if they had. and repeatedly.]
heavensnight: (My openings are super tight)

[personal profile] heavensnight 2025-03-20 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, so you consider this a success?

[by all means, it was one. she wasn't telling him to go away and she had said she was interested in what he had to offer. but it felt like she should tease him a little. that he might like it if she did. keep him guessing as well.

and really, she just wanted to see what his reaction was.]
heavensnight: (But you know you can't have it?)

[personal profile] heavensnight 2025-03-20 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[she smiles.]

It was nice of you. Just like it was nice of you to talk to me today and help with Heather and I before.
cantilevers: (21)

[personal profile] cantilevers 2025-03-21 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
[He grunted softly in agreement. He had been on a single mission so far, and it had seemed extremely pointless. He wasn't certain what it proved when it came to whether or not their worlds deserved to continue to exist, and if anything, they were put in a situation where it almost seemed designed to fail for most of them. Too few details, too little time to operate, too many people segregated.

She had clearly been on more missions than he had, and he appreciated her being united on the feelings he had not been able to verbalize properly.]
Did we even save anything as a group? If was very disjointed. Are other missions like that, or was that just a particularly bad one?

[He considered her attempt at levity, realizing it was the backbone of how they coped with such situations when together.] Does he even like anyone, or is he just one of those types who has an agenda and won't stray from it no matter what? [He had worked with (read: wrangled) those types in the past, and they could be difficult to interact with, less willing to be part of an overall group effort without seeing it as a step closer to their end goal.] And I assume because if a man is willing to die for you, he's also keeping track of who you associate with.

[He could see the red flags already.]

You can just say it was sex and not to be emotional about it, right? You haven't revealed many of your secrets, so there's still plenty for me to learn. Such a mystery. [He did mean that sincerely. He did like the banter, and he was enjoying the brief expansion into seriousness too. Multifaceted flirting or something.]
stresstokens: (pic#17162004)

[personal profile] stresstokens 2025-03-21 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
The abominable snowman? Like, singular?

[ Riz shifts his weight, looking at Ithaqua with bright curiosity -- though deeper inside, he's contemplating the implications of this. None of them are good. ]

I've never heard of that. [ Though he has some guesses. A snow elemental, perhaps, in a different form? ] But does that mean you're the only one of your kind?
banworthy: (pic#17599718)

[personal profile] banworthy 2025-03-21 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Vincent is sincere in saying he doesn't know what loneliness feels like, because the life he's lived has always been the life he's lived.

Be it here in Etraya or back in Silent Hill, nothing's ultimately changed. He makes his alliances; he works with others so their mutual goals see fruition. However, he fully believes everyone will stab him in the back (literally or metaphorically, it doesn't matter) if betraying him is far more lucrative than not.

He's effective at what he does when he puts his mind to it; he's capable at what he's capable of, but he's not worth anything beyond that, unfortunately. And if someone were to hear or experience something unpleasant from him, they may betray him due to whatever sensibilities they have. ]


Exactly. There's nothing to miss.

[ Because such closeness doesn't exist. ]
banworthy: (pic#17599715)

[personal profile] banworthy 2025-03-21 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I understand.

[ But! ]

I believe it'd be of some help to you. [ He hums, thinking (scheming). ] Rather, I'd like for you to experience it to decide if it's something that will help you.
banworthy: (18)

[personal profile] banworthy 2025-03-21 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha-ha.

[ He would have left matters like that but pauses when she seems worried about him. One shoulder lowers more than the other, his face scrunches up in a brief moment of unhappiness. However, his expression smooths out as she has a point.

His life is precious, even if he thought otherwise. He has been living recklessly because he already died once, but having experienced death, he doesn't want to any time soon. However - however - however - ]


How I'm living is no different than how I've lived. [ His shoulders bounce. ] If I don't make these investments, I won't be able to move forward with what I want to do.
hyphanated: (first look)

[personal profile] hyphanated 2025-03-21 06:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Silicone...mainly.

[A whole human body's worth of it.]
heavensnight: (And lipstick to reapply)

[personal profile] heavensnight 2025-03-21 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[Maria had only arrived a month earlier and there had not been any missions before the one they both went on. she only knew what people had told her about.] Apparently one was building a car and racing. So who knows what that qualified anybody for? But I'd take that over whatever the hell that train thing was. [that had been pointless. they both agreed. in the end, Maria hadn't been much help because she had become so focused on keeping Heather out of trouble after the riots.

as they talk about Vincent, she laughs. the wording makes him sound like a possessive boyfriend. she wishes Vincent could hear it because he'd hate it.]
Vincent doesn't like people. They're more like investments than they are relationships. If that makes sense. I'm a pretty valuable one to him is all. [which probably seems weird considering she's just a woman who has said she doesn't have much going for her. not even a hobby. mysterious indeed.] You're not wrong, though. He's told me he's worried about my own "investments". We'll see how you measure up. [she was positive Vincent wouldn't consider Vander for anything too nefarious. hopefully just helpful enough not to be too much of a pain to the man.]

So once the mysteries are all solved, we're done with this little arrangement? I'll have to remember that.
zauneyete: (pic#17504615)

man idek what these two are doing don't fuckin look in here cw more abuse i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[personal profile] zauneyete 2025-03-22 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ He has very, very carefully avoided that. You see, Silco is angry, he's always angry about that, but he's kept it relatively under control. He's managed to lob a barb out, over and over again, because it is the easy one. The one that they both acknowledge. The one that he knows that Vander regretted, or at least said he did. The admission of guilt leaves it as an open wound for him to poke and force to fester.

The other one... that is a wound that cuts only to him. It is what makes him rage, that rot that could fill and swallow him whole. Oh, he still was angry with Vander for the first, but the second made him rage, violent and angry. It's that open festering wound that he even now shields to protect — he can never actually shield it, it's worn on his face — the murder attempt was only part of it. The second was that it was him who he tried to kill, while the people who did the deed were rewarded.

Could he not see it? The stain of it? How that one choice would infect every high-minded ideal he had? He didn't want to fight? Fine. Let someone else do it for him. It was the fact that he used them, the very people who beat them down, kept them down, forced them into this very position — had killed her — Oh...

He doesn't even blink. Doesn't wince. He presses the cigarette to his neck, and Silco's already too angry to even feel it. It's in his eyes, it's in the way his lips peel back around chipped teeth, and the way his fingers very nearly snap his cigar in half.
]

Oh, you want me to bring up your real crime, do you? [ It's taut, like a tightrope. The control, that careful, oh so careful control is there. He's been obfuscating. Throwing that old chestnut about murder around because it is the easy answer. The one everyone can understand, without being given a lesson in history, in what it meant, the significance of it. He'd not thrown it at Vander, because he didn't feel he needed to. Not right now, not until he was ready. He wants to drag it out, does he? He wants honesty? Well. Perhaps he could have it.

He didn't care that he took the man's life — he asserts to himself — that was his due. He didn't kill his children — that was Jinx — and yes, perhaps he would have put them in his factories, or even kept them separate, as long as they complied. He didn't care about them, that replacement family that he'd used to fill the hole left by losing part of the one he'd had before, and throwing away the other one.
]

You want me to remind you that the very people who beat us, kept us in those mines, who wanted nothing more than an excuse to mow us all down like animals — those people — were the reasonable ones that you thought were worth dealing with?

[ Oh no, this is too close. This has the danger of being too honest. There's a spark of it, somewhere beneath the rage — and oh there is so much rage — like looking down and seeing the barest flash of something else amid the shadows hidden by murky water. This time, he reaches out with his cigar, and starts to press the cherry against his exposed collarbone, pushing it. Putting it out.

There's the smell of burning flesh. His nostrils flare.
]

You want honesty, do you? Very well. [ His lips peel back. He turns his back on the real truth, as if by even brushing it, he turns it aside. Unwilling to examine it further. There is a part of that he cannot, will not hold in hand. It is too dangerous, too fragile, and far too much like handing Vander the handful of broken pieces he'd already taken off of him when he'd done what he did. He holds those back, and buries them back down. Forces them deeper into the water. ]

Here is something honest. I hate you.

You are like a ghost that will not leave. If you would do the decency to extricate yourself from my presence, I would be all the more satisfied, but you simply cannot handle that, can you? You want to insert yourself into my business? My family? [ It is just them. It's all he has. ] By all means, I know you will. But I will make you pay tenfold for each and every offense.

That is a promise, and a truth. If that does not satisfy this thing, then go around the corner and stay there until it leaves, and don't force me to deal with you this close again. I will weather Jinx's distaste if you do not leave, and I am forced to make you.
cantilevers: (55)

[personal profile] cantilevers 2025-03-22 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I did hear about that one when I asked around as well. That one sounded more our style, I think. [However, despite the pointlessness of the situation on the train, they had ultimately succeeded at something. Well, not him and probably not Maria, but the train had gone... well, in space or something.] Maybe the next mission will be something we can dig into, yeah? They happen frequently enough.

[There were more than a few in the undercity like that. They usually kept to the outskirts and did managed their own objectives in general isolation, but they did need supplies and a helping hand now and again.] Is there a particular reason that he considers you so valuable? Or is that a mystery? [He made his tone light and teasing as he asked the question, unwilling to press her for details and potentially spoil the interaction.] Well, I haven't shrunk so I expect I still measure to six-foot-seven-inches. [Ha, dad joke.] I'm not here to do anything more than be your friend and ally, so hopefully he doesn't find that threatening.

[He lifted his head off of his folded arm again to regard her. He huffed softly to disarm the question.] Sorry, Maria, my friends only manage to get rid of me when they die. [Morbid? Yes. Truth? Also yes. Complicated? Definitely.]
sortie: (regard)

[personal profile] sortie 2025-03-22 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
Don't think we've got much of that.

[ Not in his original time, anyway. ]

Something synthetic, I guess...
heavensnight: (Decompressin')

[personal profile] heavensnight 2025-03-22 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
You said you have worried about my investments but I'm throwing it back to you. [she puts her elbows on the table, chin on her hands.]

There's some awful people here and if you get involved with them...who's to say they'll keep it at just you? And not include me or Heather? [Maria wasn't positive that Chrollo would be the one to do this, the type, but well she didn't know he wasn't either. there were plenty of different kinds of people here.]

You can't keep dying, bestie. And well, if either she or I die next then what? Are your risks really going to matter if Heather's memories are taken from her? If mine are? Say what you want but the people I choose to associate with are trying to be good people. Are yours? [Maria couldn't say she was the best judge of character, her experience was limited, but she did have intuition. none of her acquaintances would want to hurt Heather at the very least.

she offers a smile.]
How you lived back in our world doesn't matter in a world like this, does it? Doesn't for me. I'm not trying to sleep with a guy for a chance not to disappear.
Edited 2025-03-22 04:47 (UTC)
banworthy: (pic#17599754)

[personal profile] banworthy 2025-03-22 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
Fine, fine.

[ He leans back in his chair, waving his hand to indicate she can keep going. ]

Because I do what you two don't. [ Flicking his index finger in her direction then gesturing out toward "Heather's", he chimes: ] I generally don't talk about anyone I talk to or have association with, Maria. [ A beat. ] Unless I'm cornered by people who know I know you two.

[ Because there's nothing he can do in that situation; if he lies, that individual can just go to Maria and Heather for verification if they do or don't know him. He scratches his eyebrow and muses for a second: ] I'm to say that it wouldn't spill onto you two, because of my personality. The main reason to torture or kill someone unrelated is to hurt the person their connected to, Maria.

[ He dips his head. ] My personality keeps you two safe. No one would think I care that deeply about you save Chrollo and, well, he doesn't care that much about either one of you or me. [ He opens his hands. ] He's a man of religion as I am.

And he actually has faith. [ A sticking point to a previous talk they had months and months ago about how irritating he finds Claudia's "faith." ] He's not a good person, but he can kill me in seconds. However, I can't do anything to him. That's your guarantee, as well. The fact I'm weaker than the people around me is what keeps me safe.

[ His head tips back as he laughs - no sound comes out, however. ] I am living the same life I lead back then. Nothing's changed. [ Only things are changing for him, inside of him; he just is unwilling to acknowledge it. ] Anyway, you'll be safe. If you're concerned... I told Chrollo one thing.

I'm weaker than he is but I can be more irritating than anyone else in scheming against someone's downfall. [ His head finally drops down. ] And I have oodles of time here to do it. So, bestie, don't worry. I have faith enough for both of us.
miniroth: (pic#17171455)

[personal profile] miniroth 2025-03-22 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
As Sephiroth does not laugh, ever, about anything, the quiet huff was surely not any such thing as he leaves the trolley and onto .. an utterly unremarkable trolley stop, with bits of grass and bushes and such. Further in is more bushes, some trees, and ... .. honestly he's not very impressed so far, not a snake to be seen.

It's almost anticlimactic. But most snakes WERE shy, so it's not a surprise really when he thinks about it for a few minutes. "So far, disappointing."

Was it really a matter of principle? Was it an OBLIGATION to follow him?

He's suspecting at this point the name was just because there's grass snakes or something and not anything particularly dangerous, so he sets off into the shorter grass with every intention of wading into the taller. "If we're very lucky there'll be one big neough to eat. I'm getting tired of meat I can't identify."
maximumlegend: (therе's things)

[personal profile] maximumlegend 2025-03-22 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
He huffs a little bit. It takes effort to not let annoyance slip into it, but he manages. After all, he doesn't want Gaia thinking that he's annoyed at her when this is literally the first time they are ever meeting each other. It's just his natural frustration at this place that threatens to flip into his way of speaking and his body language the moment he does as much as think about the topic.

"The main caveat is the kowtowing, but you seem to already have guessed as much." Which might not take a genius, given their situation. But Fabian does think some people can be horribly naive about this place, so he's definitely giving Gaia credit for picking up on this much. It's good to see.

"I know I don't feel comfortable asking this place for things when it has actively kidnapped us. I imagine you might feel the same way. I have just been making do with things I am able to find in these stores because of it, rather than asking for my wardrobe from my world."
cantilevers: (77)

cw: mention of murder, abuse, suicidal hints - these two are a hot mess. don't look

[personal profile] cantilevers 2025-03-22 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[Vander already was fully aware of his real crime. He had lived that crime for years, but at the same time, he had been there when it happened, when he had made a choice between complete destruction or saving what little they had left. While he liked to think he did it for her memory, he also knew it was a delusion. He had done it for him because the alternative was a fate he couldn't endure for as long as they would have made him. He had already been on the tipping point, ready to die, denied and threatened with far worse.

He took the lifeline. He let the proverbial collar settle on his neck, the leash held tight in Grayson's hand and from there, he had done what he had to in order to build what he could out of the ashes of that day.

Benzo was the only one who knew. Benzo who had been waiting on the docks when they dumped him back in the Lanes, collected him up and taken him to the shop and offered nothing more than a stiff drink and a change of clothing. Benzo who died in the streets with all of Vander's blasphemous secrets, defending him from Silco who had come for his due.

No.

Vander knew what his crime was. He knew it better than Silco did, the full grimy, filthy, damning details.

Yet, he could see the rage in the older man's face. There always came a point when the true depth of Silco's anger showed and it was in the other man's eyes. Not that damaged, raging orange one but the blue. That was always the key to know where Silco's mood truly lay, the depth of his fury and the pure hatred that lurked behind the twisted narrow sallow face. This close, Vander could stare right into the hurricane that was Silco's rage, but at the eye of that storm, he saw it too: the hurt.]


Oh Silco... [He spoke softly, almost wistfully, and he shook his head.] You don't know the half of my crime then. You think I made peace with them willingly, do you? I had no choice, but... I did it anyway, yes. That's my crime, but if you want to accuse me of that transgression, maybe someday I'll even tell you the nitty gritty details of the ultimatum.

[His cigarette had been extinguished against Silco's neck, though he kept holding it at the corner of his mouth. He didn't fight when Silco purposefully pressed the cigar against him, a shudder running down his spine as renewed pain flared through his nerves. All survival instincts went ignored as he let the older man burn him because deep down, he knew it wasn't even a tenth of what he deserved for the damage to Silco's face. That burning agony may be similar but no... Vander knew just a fraction of what the sepsis caused by that filthy water was like.

And something underneath that too. A tendril of the past, of the shattered pieces of a relationship that had once meant so much to the both of them. How they had once been their best together and yet could still be at their absolute worst to the world beyond them when they needed to be. All those times, all that emotion turned on its head and twisted into this.

He turned his head and spat his cigarette to the floor, listening intently to Silco's first bit of honesty. He weathered the barrage of words still resting in the older man's lap, and he made a point of considering then he leaned his face in to speak against Silco's ear. One arm dropped so he could cup the left side of the older man's face to prevent Silco from jerking away.]


Here's something honest back: I don't hate you. I wish I could. I'm furious with you, and I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you did to Mylo, Claggor and Vi that day, but... [He sighed, resting their temples together.] I don't hate you.

[He did withdraw after that, dropping his hand away and lifting it to press to the wall, but he also didn't move. He knew relenting where he was sitting was giving Silco what the man wanted, and Vander had lost interest in that. Perhaps they needed this moment to face reality. Too bad it was in a public lobby.]

There was a time we used to be family. First you and me. Then Felicia. [Those days were over, of course. She died, Silco and Vander damaged beyond repair. Now Silco jockeyed for full control of Jinx. He knew why.] Jinx is my family too. I won't stop seeing or having a relationship with her. I am not looking to take her from you, Silco. She clearly loves you and you her. She and I want something similar. I need her too. [Or else... what's the point?] And you're going to let us have that.

[Finally - finally - Vander shifting his weight and moved to rise so he could stop sitting on Silco.]
Edited 2025-03-22 17:14 (UTC)